Addressing Affluent Neglect in the Lives of Third Culture Kids
Notes from an interview with Rachel Hovington
When I think of neglect, I can’t help but picture her: an affluent student at a prominent international school, who wore the same clothes day after day, complained of a forgotten lunch, and was distant and uninterested in school. She was passed up to the next grade, to the next cohort of teachers, to the next school. Yes, we were concerned. Yes, we wrote it down. Despite our concerns, little changed for this girl. This student, and the thought of how I might have failed her, has me thinking about why the system didn’t work and the importance of our responsibilities as educators to protect children. Did we not act more swiftly because we didn't think neglect would be an issue in such an affluent community? What did we miss along the way?
I had the privilege of speaking with Rachel Hovington, Head of School at Benjamin Franklin International School in Barcelona, and a passionate advocate for child protection policies. Our conversation focused on the issue of neglect in international schools and how this passing of the buck is common in our transient community. Neglect can often go overlooked in affluent communities, but it is also prevalent in these communities.
Below are key takeaways from my interview with Rachel, including indicators of affluent neglect, the reasons behind its frequent disregard, and strategies for teachers to raise their awareness and ensure the safety and well-being of all students.
Examples of affluent neglect:
Over-scheduling a child to the point of exhaustion
A parent living vicariously through their child
Overly high expectations leading to emotional abuse
Absent parents
3 reasons affluent neglect is often overlooked in Third Culture Kids:
Power play: Private schools that depend on enrollment are at risk of making decisions in order to appease parents. There can be a reluctance to dig into private family matters when families come from high status and hold power. Families may threaten or use positions of power to dissuade further investigation.
Cultural norms: Many families who live far from their home country rely on domestic helpers to assist in raising their children. While this support can be invaluable, it can also result in a unique challenge when children form strong attachments to their caregivers. The separation from their caretakers during a move to a new country can be a traumatic experience for these children, as they are faced with the loss of an important attachment figure. It is therefore essential to proactively engage in conversations around these transitions with both students and parents to provide support during this difficult time and minimize the negative effects and provide a supportive environment for children to thrive in their new surroundings.
High turnover: School leaders, staff and students are transient in international schools. If protocols are not documented, staff not trained regularly, and students cases not documented and reported to the next school, we risk missing important details that can help us to protect a child.
How you can protect students:
1.Recognize and challenge your biases and assumptions: Bad behavior may be a symptom of something deeper- do not dismiss potential warning signs and choose instead to document when a student is acting out.
Some biased thinking that may inhibit our ability to see abuse:
a. The student/ family/ parent is being demanding, needy, entitled, dramatic.”
b. “I don't have power”
c. “[X behavior] is a cultural norm”
d. “I don’t want to create a conflict with [x family]”
Rephrasing these biases:
a .The student/ family/ parent is expressing needs and concerns
b. I can follow protocol to ensure the safety of this child
c. While this may be accepted in this culture, it has potential for harm within the context of school
d. I am willing to have difficult conversations to ensure the safety and well-being of the child
2. Listen to your instincts and document observations: If it feels like something is out of place, it is always best to document your observations. By collectively documenting what we observe we create a clearer picture of the situation.
3. Follow up and follow through: Be relentless with investigating and documenting. Rachel advises a “low criticism/ high warmth” approach. Don’t assume someone else will take care of it or that the system will do its job. You are part of the system and must behave as if you are a key contributor to its success.
4. Recommendations for Leadership :
a. Consider getting accredited by Council of International Schools, leaders in child safeguarding in our community.
b. Attend the Association for the Advancement of International Education conference, where school heads and leaders come together annually to review and discuss policies.
c. Schedule regular child safeguarding training that includes addressing affluent neglectBecome a member of a child protection committee with other school heads. Meet once a week or biweekly to discuss current cases before making decisions to move forward.
At Sea Change Mentoring we believe in the power of building relationships and trust to become advocates for our students’ safety and well-being. Learn more about our Professional Development opportunities or contact us at info@seachangementoring.com for consulting services to support your school’s efforts to protect and support students.
